1. Are Asians skinnier because they don't use forks? Chopsticks are the most impossible utensil in the entire world as far as I'm concerned. Eating RICE with two pieces of wood? Who thought that would be a good idea?
2. Is this milk, or soy milk? What is soya? If I put this on my cereal, will it make me sick in an hour? Help!
3. Seriously people, enough with the Crocs. We get it, they're allegedly "comfortable" and good in rainy weather. But so are sandals, and rain boots, and those things don't like half as retarded as your terrible choice in shoe wear. Ditch the half finished plastic slingback ugly girl Mary Janes - please. On that note - the whole 'wearing athletic shoes with everything' trend is NOT okay. You don't wear Nikes with a pencil skirt. You also don't wear Nikes with a pair of colored skinny jeans (unless they're high tops and your name is Will Smith). And you SURE as hell don't wear Nikes with a DRESS. You know what athletic shoes are for? The gym. That and tricking people into thinking you work out. Really though, who are you people? I thought you were all supposed to be worried about looking good and being fashionable. Hate to break it to you people, but these are not good looks.
4. What's with everything having such a high sugar content? I ask for an iced coffee and get an americano with like, ten inches of room. Lady, I don't need to put an entire cup of milk and sixteen tablespoons of sugar in here, I just want the coffee. By itself. With ice. Also, bought some instant coffee (always a good idea) to have at the house, opened the package, was surprised to find that it's half coffee crystals. The other half? Sugar, of course.
5. Finally, WHY DON'T YOU PEOPLE EAT FROZEN YOGURT OVER HERE? Do you not have any sorority girls in this entire country? Seriously somebody answer this question for me. Good beer I can live without (sort of not really), potable tap water I can live without (sort of I'll just stop drinking water), real showers I can live without (but not without a great deal of complaining), fitted bed sheets I can live without (I'll just bring my own). But FROZEN YOGURT? This is going to be a long 12 months if I can't get my hands on frozen yogurt ANYWHERE on this weird little island...